"Pillow Talk"

“Do you ever wish that I wouldn’t have changed?”
He turned over to face her, “what do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” she paused to gather her thoughts. “Well if I told you then you would make fun of me.”
He sighed, “Just tell me what you mean.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking lately and I’m not who I use to be. You know, when we first met. I’ve changed.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“I’m not trying to be sappy or anything but I am not the same person,” she paused, “and I miss her. I miss that girl I once was.”
“It’ll be okay. Don’t stress over it or you’ll give yourself a migraine. You stress over so much.”
The only time Nancy and Bill had time to talk was at night, after they got the kids to bed. Rarely were they able to find a sitter to watch their four children so they could go out on a date. It was hard being that all four children were under the age of five. Even though Nancy was a stay-at-home mom. Bill worked fifty plus hours a week which made it hard for them to find time to see each other much less carry a conversation.

02/28/09
The following morning she got up and continued with the same routine she did every day. She fed their two month old Ava as soon as she woke up at six. Once she was able to get a free hand she got the kids breakfast ready so that when they did wake up she could easily place their food in front of them. Usually the twins Sara and Jon who were three would scurry out of their rooms first. Both running through the house squealing for mommy. It never was long after that Beth would walk around the corner into the kitchen rubbing her eyes whining to be picked up.

Her day would consist of running around trying to get the kids dressed and out of their pajamas. Breaking up fights and tending to Ava who constantly cried until she was held. On rare occasions she would have days that she took the kids on playdates with a few of her closest friends and their kids. But that was rare. Most days she would spend all her time thinking of the next thing she had to do. If she had any adult contact outside of her home it was through texting on her blackberry and most of that time was texting her husband.

-to be continued

... And then things change.

I'm a mother of not just one kid but two. I thought I didn't have much time to do anything for myself or have the "down" time with just one kid. What did I think was going to happen with the second? Well, let me tell you. I've been able to find "down" time. Oh it's hard but everyday gets easier and easier to figure this all out. Before I had kids people would throw around the "Life is a Journey" phrase. I believed it but my life was boring then compared to what it is now. Now I really do feel like I'm on a journey. It's a great one by the way.

There are so many ways to take that phrase: "Life is a Journey"
"Life is a Journey"- as you pick through your kids tiny, and difficult clothes to fold and find all the socks to match up-trying to find that missing piece that belongs to another toy-figure out how to calm a crying baby while coloring in a coloring book with your 19 month old-wonder why your tot won't keep her clothes on-why visitors show up at the times your house is a mess because the toy box has vomited all over the house plus your hair is standing up on your head from not being able to take a shower-Wondering why it never fails that when the kids are napping the dog barks and wakes them up-why people that should be good with kids aren't and make them fuss because they aggrevate them-why being a stay at home mom seems more challenging then being a working mom-why you can never picture your kids leaving home-the wonders of why a mother's heart cannot get enough of their own children-the thought that the love you have for your children could never be as big, strong, and thick as you could ever make it be only because it's such an overwhelming emotion-an emotion that makes you want to cry from the joy of having an offspring, someone like yourself, yet to cry from sorrow because of the day that is inevitable when your child will leave and take part in their own Journey.

Second Day

I've got a lot of writing I need to post on here. Hopefully I'll get to it sooner than later. I'm trying to manage this along with life with two kids. I have a 19 month old daughter and just had my second daughter January 2 so I'm trying to get the hang of juggling everything. It's not to bad but everytime I get on the computer or try to work my tot-Paige likes to sit on my lap and attempt to press every button on the keyboard plus touch everything else on the desk. Typical tot stuff.

Though last night was nice because my husband was working late and my oldest daughter was with her nanna (my mom) and all I had was the newborn who sleeps a lot so I had a lot of "alone" time to write and learn new things. Right now though I have a newborn crying on and off and a tot lying on the floor beside me with her pillow so I won't be on for long. I go ahead and venture off to say I'll be on here during the late hours of the night into the morning. -Okay be back to update later-

Out on her butt

I recently read where this lady and her family were evicted from her house because her landlord did not pay the monthly mortgage. The woman claims that she gave the landlord the rent each month. Without knowing what had happened an eviction team came and started carrying all her stuff out on the lawn while a police officer stood by to monitor to make sure everything was operating smoothly. The lady is shown crying. Also in the pictures it shows her stuff strewn all over her yard. EVERYTHING-her furniture, clothes, clothes hangers, photo albums, the list goes on. At that moment my heart broke for her. So I got this idea of preventing something like this from happening so I'm going to pursue this little dream of mine and see what comes of it. Even if it calls for protesting. I know people are losing their jobs and homes but Jesus! Can't they be warned ahead of time? My next question is what is going to happen to this woman, her family and her stuff? She has no roof over head now.

Why can't people like Donald Trump, or Oprah (just for examples) why can't they use the money they have and instead of doing things with their money that help the rich or make them richer why can't they come up with something a little more smart to do with their money to help the US citizens (not African citizens or Mexican citizens-which I have nothing against) so that our country has a little hope for coming out of a recession in the next decade. If not for our country's benefit then for our "neighbors". It's something I would like to ignore is happening because it's to awful to think about. But it is real and something that won't go away even if I close my eyes and plug up my ears.